The breakthrough you need isn't in your head—it's in your nervous system.
After last week's unexpected but timely post about unworthiness (inspired by Justin Bieber's vulnerable share), I want to dive deeper into something I see regularly in my practice. As we return to our regular bi-weekly schedule, let's explore a challenge that often underlies those feelings of not being enough.
Have you ever felt like you've done all the things? You've poured over self-help books, diligently journaled your thoughts, tried breathwork exercises, and maybe even gone to therapy, but still, that feeling of being stuck in life lingers? That persistent anxiety or overwhelm that just won't budge, no matter how much you understand it intellectually?
If this resonates with you, you're not alone. As Sarah, one of my clients, shared: "I felt like I was doing everything right - therapy, mindfulness practices, positive thinking - but something still felt off. It wasn't until I learned about my nervous system that things started making sense."
Table of Content
- The breakthrough you need isn't in your head—it's in your nervous system.
- The Missing Piece: Your Body's Wisdom
- Does This Feel Like You?
- The Difference Between Top-Down and Bottom-Up Approaches
- What is a Bottom-Up Approach?
- Techniques for Bottom-Up Healing
- A Gentle Practice to Try Right Now
- Creating Lasting Change
- A Simple Tool for When You Feel Overwhelmed and Stuck
- Your Next Steps Forward
The Missing Piece: Your Body's Wisdom
What many traditional approaches miss is a crucial truth: lasting change doesn't start in your mind - it begins in your body. Your nervous system holds patterns of stress, anxiety, and overwhelm that can't be thought away. These patterns show up as:
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That familiar tightness in your chest
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The constant knot in your stomach
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Shoulders that won't relax
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Sleep that isn't restful
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A mind that won't quiet down
Does This Feel Like You?
Take a gentle breath as you read through these - and remember, recognizing yourself here isn't about judgment, it's about finally understanding why traditional approaches might not have worked for you.
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Perhaps you've noticed that you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others, wondering why everyone else seems to have it figured out while you're still struggling.
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Maybe you understand your challenges intellectually - you can explain exactly what's happening and why - but your body still feels anxious, your chest still tightens, and nothing seems to shift.
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You might have tried traditional self-help approaches that provided some relief, but like putting a band-aid on a deep wound, the comfort was only temporary.
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Or perhaps you're tired of being told to "just think positive" or "let it go" - because if it were that simple, you would have done it by now.
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Does your body feel like it's constantly on high alert - as if there's always something to worry about, even when logically you know you're safe?
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And despite doing everything "right" - the therapy, the books, the practices - you still feel overwhelmed, like you're missing some crucial piece of the puzzle?
If you're nodding along, please know this: You're not broken. Your body has been trying to protect you, and now we can gently teach it new ways to feel safe.
The Difference Between Top-Down and Bottom-Up Approaches
Traditional healing methods often emphasize a top-down approach, which relies on our thinking mind to tackle emotional or physical challenges. While this can be beneficial, methods like talk therapy or mindset shifts may not always touch the deeper, unconscious patterns that your body holds.
In contrast, a bottom-up approach engages your body and nervous system. It looks to your emotions, your physical sensations, and your limbic brain (the emotional center) to heal. This way, we can reconnect the parts of your body and brain that may have become disconnected due to stress or trauma.
What is a Bottom-Up Approach?
Simply put, a bottom-up approach utilizes information from your body to foster healing through:
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Your Emotions: Understanding and processing feelings
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Your Physiology: Tuning into bodily sensations
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Your Nervous System: Recognizing how your body copes with stress
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Your Limbic Brain: Accessing deeper emotional memories and patterns
By focusing on these elements, we can repair the disconnections caused by unresolved stress, trauma, or emotional patterns.
Techniques for Bottom-Up Healing
Here are some effective bottom-up techniques that I incorporate into my practice:
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EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique): Also known as tapping, EFT is scientifically proven to reduce stress and soothe the nervous system. By tapping on specific acupressure points, we can release unprocessed emotions and reconnect with our bodies.
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Polyvagal Practices: These exercises help strengthen your vagus nerve, improving your nervous system regulation and making you feel more anchored and safe.
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Art Therapy and Play: Engaging in joy-filled activities can reset your nervous system and restore a sense of safety, bringing you back to a state of natural flow and connection.
A Gentle Practice to Try Right Now
Before we begin, I want you to know something important: There's no "right" way to do this. Your body's wisdom is unique to you, and whatever you experience is perfect.
Let's create a moment of connection together:
Find a comfortable position and place one hand gently on your heart - this simple gesture sends a signal of safety to your nervous system.
Invite three soft, intentional breaths - not forcing anything, just allowing your body to naturally slow down.
Now, we'll try something called tapping. Begin tapping gently on the fleshy side of your hand (between your pinky and wrist) - think of it as a loving tap, like you might comfort a dear friend.
As you tap, speak these words with compassion to yourself:
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"Even though I feel stuck right now, I honor that my body has been trying to protect me"
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"Even though I feel stuck right now, I choose to speak to myself with kindness"
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"Even though I feel stuck right now, I'm brave enough to try something that might help me feel better"
Continue this gentle tapping as you move to these points, taking your time:
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Top of your head - "I'm listening to my body's wisdom"
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Beginning of your eyebrow - "I'm safe to feel what I feel"
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Side of your eye - "My feelings are welcome here"
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Under your eye - "I trust my body knows how to heal"
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Under your nose - "I'm learning to be gentle with myself"
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Under your lip - "Each tap is an act of self-compassion"
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Your collarbone - "I deserve to feel peace in my body"
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Under your arm - "I'm exactly where I need to be in this moment"
Pause here. Place both hands on your heart and invite three more gentle breaths.
What do you notice? Maybe your shoulders dropped slightly, or you took a deeper breath than you have all day. Perhaps there's a tiny shift in the tightness you've been carrying. Or maybe you simply feel proud of yourself for trying something new.
If your number is still higher than a 3, you may benefit from repeating several more rounds. Feel free to adjust the words so they reflect what feels most potent and true for you in this moment. It’s often most effective to focus on clearing one emotion or thought at a time, giving your system the space it needs to release and reset.
Whatever you're experiencing right now is perfect. Your nervous system is learning that it's safe to let go, even just a little bit.
Creating Lasting Change
Remember, your body isn't broken - it's doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe. But now we can teach it new patterns through gentle, consistent practice.
Here's what becomes possible with a regulated nervous system:
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Restful sleep and renewed energy
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Natural motivation and joy
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Calm response to challenges
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Enhanced resilience
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Deeper connection to yourself and others
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The ability to change your life and overcome stuckness
A Simple Tool for When You Feel Overwhelmed and Stuck
When that familiar feeling of overwhelm takes over, having practical tools can make all the difference. This free EFT guide teaches you gentle tapping techniques to help calm your nervous system when those stuck feelings surface. It's one practical tool in your toolbox - not a magic solution, but something that can genuinely help you find relief in the moment.
Your Next Steps Forward
Here's what I want you to know: Feeling better doesn't have to be another overwhelming item on your endless to-do list. When you work with your body instead of against it, transformation becomes gentler and more sustainable.
Small steps that can make a meaningful difference:
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Regular EFT tapping practice - Even just 5-10 minutes when you remember can help begin to shift years of stored tension. There's no pressure to be perfect with this.
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Gentle nervous system regulation - Simple techniques that help your body remember what safety feels like, practiced at your own pace.
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Body-aware mindfulness - Learning to tune into your body's wisdom instead of overriding it - this is a skill that grows with time and patience.
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Compassionate self-connection - Discovering how to be your own safe haven, especially on the difficult days.
The beautiful women I work with often share something profound: "I wish I'd known about these body-based approaches years ago." As Maria recently told me, "I spent so much time trying to think my way out of feeling stuck. Working with my nervous system changed everything - and it felt so much gentler than what I'd tried before."
Your body has been your wisest teacher all along - it's just been speaking a language you weren't taught to understand. Trust the gentle shifts you're noticing, honor your own timing, and remember that every small step toward nervous system healing is worthy of celebration.
You don't have to have it all figured out right now. Your nervous system is learning, your body is healing, and you are exactly where you need to be in this moment.
With warmth and support,
🌿 Kay
P.S. Your body deserves this kindness, and so do you. In upcoming posts, I'll be sharing more about how to decode these signals and work with your nervous system instead of against it. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss these gentle insights that could be the missing piece in your healing journey.