High-functioning anxiety: The hidden struggle beneath your success

Signs of High-Functioning Anxiety

You're juggling responsibilities, checking tasks off your to-do list, and keeping your relationships afloat—all while a quiet, uneasy feeling hums beneath the surface. On the outside, you look composed, calm, and even accomplished. Inside, though, it feels like you're one slip away from everything unravelling. The worry, doubt, and restless energy never seem to turn off.

If this resonates with you, you might be experiencing something called high-functioning anxiety—a form of anxiety that affects many women who feel the pressure to "keep it all together.

What is High Functioning Anxiety?

High-functioning anxiety may not be an official medical diagnosis, but it's a real struggle that many women face. Unlike other anxiety disorders, high-functioning anxiety allows people to maintain their daily responsibilities while struggling internally. While anxiety in its more familiar forms might visibly interfere with daily life, high-functioning anxiety tends to stay hidden behind constant productivity and the appearance of success.

You might look like you've got everything under control—at work, in your family, or with your commitments. You might look like you've got everything under control—at work, in your family, or with your commitments. People with high-functioning anxiety often excel professionally while battling symptoms of anxiety that remain hidden. Behind the scenes, you're battling self-doubt, perfectionism, or a relentless fear of failure. As one of my clients once said: "I seem fine to everyone around me, but inside, it feels like I'm always on the verge of unraveling. It's like a storm quietly brewing under the surface.

Signs you might be experiencing high-functioning anxiety

Here are some common signs that high-functioning anxiety might be playing a role in your life:

Mental and emotional patterns:

Physical clues from your body:

These physical symptoms aren't random—they're your body's way of telling you that it's stuck in overdrive and responding to anxiety symptoms that have been suppressed. People with high-functioning anxiety tend to push through these warning signs, but the good news? It doesn't have to stay this way.

Where does high-functioning anxiety come from?

To understand why you might feel this way, it helps to look at what might be driving it. high-functioning anxiety often develops from a mix of:

Over time, these patterns can create a cycle where you keep pushing yourself, internally exhausted but unable to stop—and without proper coping strategies, this can lead to burnout.

Why the usual advice often falls short

If you've tried traditional self-help strategies for anxiety—like thinking positive thoughts, talking it out, or even just "powering through"—you might wonder why you're still stuck in this cycle. The truth is, these strategies often overlook a critical piece of the puzzle: your body.

Anxiety isn't just something you "think" your way out of. It's something you feel in your body, whether it's that tightness in your chest, the knot in your stomach, or the tension in your jaw. To truly move out of anxiety, we have to address what's happening both in our thoughts and in our physical response to stress.

Gentle, whole-body approaches for relief

The good news? There are practical, compassionate tools that can help you feel calmer and more grounded—without needing to overhaul your entire life. Here are a few simple strategies you can start with:

1. Daily nervous system-calming practices

Your nervous system thrives on routines that signal safety and ease. Start small with:

Morning ritual (5 minutes): A few nourishing breaths, gentle stretches, or humming can help calm your body's pace as you start the day.

Midday reset (3 minutes): Place a hand over your heart and take slow breaths while silently affirming, "I'm safe right now."

Evening wind-down (10 minutes): Try progressive muscle relaxation by tensing and releasing different parts of your body, or unplug from screens an hour before sleep.

These small acts might seem simple, but they build up over time to retrain your body's stress response.

2. EFT Tapping for real-time anxiety relief

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), or tapping, is an incredibly powerful tool for calming anxious feelings and reconnecting with your inner calm. EFT offers coping strategies for managing high-functioning anxiety by addressing both mental health and physical symptoms. This simple practice combines tapping on specific points on your body while gently acknowledging your emotions. Here's how you can try it:

Name your anxiety: Notice where you feel tension or unease.

Rate the intensity: On a scale of 0-10, how strong does it feel right now?

The affirmation: Start by tapping the side of your hand (between your wrist and pinky) and say something like: "Even though I feel this tension, I deeply and completely accept myself."

The tapping sequence: Tap gently on these points while focusing on your anxiety:

Pause and invite a gentle, deep breath, check in with how you feel, and repeat as needed.

If your number is still higher than a 3, you may benefit from repeating several more rounds. Feel free to adjust the words so they reflect what feels most potent and true for you in this moment. It’s often most effective to focus on clearing one emotion or thought at a time, giving your system the space it needs to release and reset.

EFT Tapping has a compounding effect, and can help individuals with high functioning anxiety find sustainable relief. Tapping isn't about forcing your emotions away—it's about honoring them while letting your body find a new way to respond.

3. Building boundaries around perfectionism

Perfectionism can often show up disguised as "being responsible" or "caring for others," but it can come at a cost if you're never saying "no." When you start to notice the signs of overwhelm (a clenched jaw, shallow breathing, or that familiar sense of dread), try pausing before you commit to something. Practice saying:

It takes practice, but each "no" creates space for your wellbeing to shine.

While these self-help strategies are powerful, some situations benefit from professional help. If your anxiety symptoms significantly impact your physical health, you're experiencing burnout, or you find yourself struggling to cope despite your best efforts, consider connecting with a mental health professional. Support groups can also provide valuable connection with others who understand this unique form of anxiety.

Ready to break free from stress or emotional overwhelm?

Grab my Essential EFT Tapping Guide now and learn, step by step, how a few minutes of gentle tapping can restore calm, clarity, and confidence. No prior experience needed—just practical tools for real relief.

When to Seek Professional Help

While these self-help strategies are powerful, some situations benefit from professional help. If your anxiety symptoms significantly impact your physical health, you're experiencing burnout, or you find yourself struggling to cope despite your best efforts, consider connecting with a mental health professional. Support groups can also provide valuable connection with others who understand this unique form of anxiety.

A Compassionate Path Forward

High-functioning anxiety isn't a sign that you're broken—it's a sign that your nervous system has been working overtime to keep you safe. Remember, high-functioning anxiety doesn't define you—it's simply your nervous system's way of coping with prolonged stress. With compassionate coping strategies and the right support, you can move from constant vigilance to genuine calm—without pushing harder or pretending everything's fine.

You don't have to hold it all together alone.

With care and support,

🌿 Kay